Post VI

When I was a child I thought like a child

I played like a child

I joked like a child

I smiled like a child

I had faith like a child.

At 9 years old I deemed it absolutely, one hundred percent necessary

to disassociate myself from every single childish way, thought, and action I had once held so dear.

From that day, I was never the same.

With that fateful action whence I destroyed my childish

thoughts, jokes, smiles, and faith I subsequently lost something. Big.

I lost my Goodnight Moon and the peaceful airs of that great green room

I lost my Little Engine That Could. Man, that guy. He understood.

I said goodbye to “I think I can, I think can.”

How could I do that, and think that was smart?

Cause at 9 years old I thought I had to be tough enough?

Had to be smart enough? Had to be old enough?

Well. I wish I could have told myself that day,

that every thought, every joke, smile, and ounce of faith I had as a child

I would spend a lifetime trying to get back. Trying to live again.

Post V

In the scriptures it explains,

“We love Him because he first loved Us."

This phrase not only depicts

The essence of your relationship with the Father

It also explains your social disposition towards others

The Father loves you,

And you choose to love the Father.

This act has twofold relevance, however,

For one cannot love the Father and not

Resist the unbearable urge to love every

Entity you meet forthwith.

But where do you see that?

No, sadly I see that a “God flavored" Christian club believes 

That they will change the world with slogans and graphic tees.

Contrary to what Christian scientists say, we have evolved. 

Evolved from people meeting in homes and sharing everything 

To becoming so misled, we become indistinguishable from an indoctrinating, self-righteous political party.

Open you eyes! 

Raise your head above your love/hate relationship with confusion. 

A perfect love is yours.

More potent than lies and hatred.

This perfect love is yours.

Post IV

The simplistic cycles we voluntarily subscribe to. It's comical how predictable we are. Yet, we proclaim and pretend to be confusing. We're being confusing for confusion's sake.

Why is that so hard to see?

Post III (To my friends, the sailors)

Does the rudder steer itself

while you're still fixing the mast

Can you see the storm brewing

while you scrub the deck

Why so separate

Why so rogue

The waters you own 

are not under your feet

As they fall,

fall,

fall

down our faces

The ocean is too big

Please...

please let us come with you

Post II

I need to be more serious about things in life.

You live in the real world, bad stuff happens, and people's whole lives and psychology changes. NO one ever notices though.

Things like homosexuality, child molesting, and STD's. These are bad things. But notice, how often society talk about them, jokes about them. Maybe to try and believe they're not real, or maybe because it's so easy to joke for them.

But the girl or boy next to you could be suffering, and your joking puts them on end. You wouldn't know.

The way they write it in books. Books like Frankenstein, where the doctor is haunted by his own creation, and the thought of even science physically hurts him. Yeah, that's real life.

Except it's not Frankenstein's monster. It's a guy's feelings towards other guys, a relative that did something terrible, or a bad decision one late night that you will never forget or forgive.

THINK ABOUT IT!

You could throw someone over an emotional cliff by half a joke. That emotional fall could send them to tears, to porn, to cutting themselves, or to even killing themselves.

My tone is dark, but this is real!

Jesus' love prevails, but you have to know about the real world, man.

I address this to myself, more than anyone else.

Post I

Why is all the art I like so melancholy? I mean, the secular songs, the movies...

It's happy, but I tend to see through it, or just see the sad parts. Even in music.

Is it I'm too perceptive at the wrong times? It just often seems... hmm.

I am filled with joy however, I just don't express it in a "socially recognized" way. Whatevs. 

I've never been an introvert. I guess I can't handle it sometimes. I genuinely think alone time is just bad for me.

In small quantities, no, of course not. But, whole days, I just think about the same things too much. It's like I've thought of all that there is to think about.

No, I just think till I realize I've already thought about this, and stop because I don't like cognitive repetition. Weird me.